Moving past what we believe

If you’ve read the last post then you’ll know that I’ve been thinking a fair bit about personality and how it is defined.

This is important because, right now, the understanding around attitudes, behaviours, beliefs and competencies is a bit hazy, and if it’s hazy at the theoretical level, then it’s basically fog at the level of implementation.

Most of us have this belief that we are ‘the way we are’. Now, if you unpack this a little bit, or challenge people on it, then they’re probably going to be able to look past it, but the majority of the time we don’t think or talk like that. We don’t tend to separate the person from the attitude/belief/behaviour, the language we use is generally one and the same, and we reinforce this throughout education. This also tend to apply for competencies, such as academic abilities, as well as for other things that we normally think of as personality traits, so introversion or extroversion, for example.

So, for example, a young person who consistently struggles in maths may say that they are ‘bad’ at math. There is something in them that makes them naturally ‘bad’ at math – they’re missing the math chip – and there’s not a lot they can do about it.

There are two caveats here – Carol Dweck‘s theory of Growth vs Fixed mindset has gone a long way towards changing the language used around abilities and competencies, which is amazing, and as her theory is implemented even more within the education system we expect this to continue to change. Angela Duckworth has also delved into our tendency to believe that people who are good at something are ‘naturally’ talented (there’s a whole section on it in Grit) and explored how this works to excuse a lack of ability in ourselves.

But much of the existing focus is on competencies, not personality.

So while we may now believe that we can change our ability in maths, we don’t really believe we can change our ‘intrinsic’ personality.

What if our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours aren’t intrinsic?

When we say that a trait is intrinsic, we are saying that it belongs to the essential nature of the person – that is is part of ‘who’ they are.

This means we think that people who are warm and caring are naturally that way; they make natural parents, and should work in caring professions. People who are loud are also naturally that way, there’s nothing they can do about it, and they shouldn’t try.

We often use this knowledge of our intrinsic selves to make decisions about what we should do with our lives; if we are caring, then we should work in a job where we get to care for people, but if we don’t see ourselves as good with people then we should avoid those roles where we can.

But the reality is that our attitudes, beliefs and behaviours are just as flexible as our competencies, and with a different mindset they are just as malleable.

Compare the pair:

1. Sam believes they are ‘bad’ at English, because they struggle with spelling and don’t like writing. Sam’s teacher helps Sam to understand that they can work on their English and improve their skills using Growth Mindset principles, and over time Sam feels more confident with English lessons.
2. Fred believes he is not good with people, and a personality test told him that he is an introvert. Fred avoids activities where he has to work in teams, and as he plans to leave school he discounts any careers where he may need to work with patients, clients, or customers. His school and parents think this is a good idea, and he ends up working in cyber security.

Rather than assuming that Fred is ‘just the way he is’, what if we gave him the skills and practice he needs to improve his people-skills? Regardless of whether or not he chose the same pathway, he would still feel more confident working with others and quite possibly enjoy other benefits throughout his life, not the least of which is that he would feel more options were open to him because he stopped self-limiting.

Moving past entrenched beliefs could be oh so powerful, especially if incorporated early, as we have done so well with an academic approach to growth mindset.